While circumstances involving the need for a doula will never be a one-size-fits-all scenario, I am confident that Nora O'Dowd will be exactly the type and kind of doula that you and your family will need most. I say this because with Nora all the ingredients are already there…Patient, understanding, experienced, empathic and kind, but more than anything else brave. Since when it is time to finally ‘let go,’ she will bring equal parts of love, compassion and courage to help everyone involved to gain understanding and acceptance of that.

As determined ‘problem solvers,’ my siblings and I managed to honor my Mom’s wishes to avoid lengthy hospital stays while providing 24/7 care at home; defying bouts of pneumonia, incontinence and COVID for nearly 18 months. When Nora arrived, she applauded our efforts, but advised us that we might be reaching a point where ‘problem solving’ would no longer work, and even prove counterproductive. Rather, she suggested we focus on spending time with Mom by just ‘being’ v. ‘doing.’ The last thing a problem solver wants to hear, but it is what we needed to hear. She set a strong example herself, spending MANY hours with Mom; oftentimes just holding her hand or reading her a book, something Mom always loved. While it took me longer than some of my siblings to make that emotional pivot, in due course, we all came around.

When Mom finally did pass, she was at home, comfortable, and surrounded by everyone just as she wished. Only looking back do I realize Nora’s pluck and courage, knowing precisely what to say, to whom (Mom included), as well as when to say it.